hati, kau sakit lagi?

Aku doa,

Mohon kaulah yang terbaik.

Tapi sekarang semua masih samar,

Harus aku terus melangkah atau berpatah balik?

saat aku jatuh, aku doa kau pimpin aku biar jangan rapuh,

IL

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Dah bersedia untuk jatuh?

Dalam sudut hati ni,

Aku rindu,

Lari lari dengan kamu,

Tidur di berbeda negeri setiap minggu.

Dalam sudut hati ni,

Aku cemburu,

Cemburu kau dah dapat hidup kamu,

Yang kau impikan dulu.

Dalam sudut hati ni,

Aku mahu,

Tuhan cepatkan putaran waktu,

Jadi kita boleh seperti dulu.

Malangnya,

Itu semua dulu,

Kau masih dengan hidup mu,

Waktu masih juga begitu

Mohon tuhan kuatkan hati mu,

Agar masih kuat seperti dulu,

Dan mohon tuhan gagah kan hati aku. 

Agar masih kuat menunggumu.

Saya rindu penyanyi tu,

IL

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setiap soalan ada jawapan, kan?

Hari ini aku lari,

Lari kejar kamu,

Sebab kamu nak lari,

Lari dari aku.

Tapi kenapa?

Bagi aku jawapannya,

Adakah sebab aku dah tak sempurna?

Adakah sebab itu aku dah tak layak dicinta?

Hari ni kamu masih lari,

Tapi kali ni aku cuma berdiri,

Berdiri dan tengok kau lari,

Sekarang kau puas hati?

IL

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5 waktu,

Azan maghrib berkumandang,

Tapi aku masih dekat sini,

Mengamati tapi tak bergerak,

Kenapa?

Sebab aku takut,

Takut kalau aku bangun,

Semua akan berubah,

Berubah jadi lebih parah.

Kenapa parah?

Sebab di setiap surah,

Aku fikirkan kau,

Aku doakan kau.

Tolong jangan lost lama-lama, aku rindu

IL

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Masa pantas,

Hi.

Sometimes, I wish, I can just turn back time. Go to that moment where celebrating each other birthday is a must, having that midnight movies with the family, catching up stuff while eating Siakap at Jeng Kuan, mama cabut uban dan janggut ayah, 

*long exhale, crying* 

I miss that moment. I miss it when everything that is wrong but seems so right cause I have everyone by my side. I miss everyone smiles and happiness back then. The jokes, fooling around. 

Now, everything has change. We're growing up, too fast. Just too fast. Mom's alone. The smile isn't the same anymore. The laughters , the jokes is just not.... how it used to be you see. 

I wish I am as strong as you want me to be, mom. 

The truth is, I'm loosing myself, pieces by pieces. 

It hurts to just sit here and watch everything falls down.

IL :'( 

Hello Anonymous.

Hi.

First of all, I am Ika. 23 and happily married (inside my head).Currently searching for my other half and trying to be as skinny as I possibly can. Travelling and eating is my always-have-to-do list. I love to write stuff. Dah lama tak menulis, jadi agak kekok sedikit. But, its okay. I'll try my best to comfort myself and write rubbish, again, in this new blog. As for you, go and take a cup of coffee and read this with your open mind. So, please, walk with me, and enjoy life :) 

That's it for now.

IL :)