18/31

Bismillah.


Seorang syafika yang berumur 25tahun 11bulan dan 29 hari adalah
seorang manusia yang tak konsisten

I never thought that final year can be very tiring, dah almost lost count berapa banyak kali
balik kelas emosi nangis atas katil sebab study.
Susahnya.

But, selalunya aku nak sangat cepat habis belajar but with this kindda economy here
in Malaysia nak habis belajar cepat cepat pun, lepastu nak buat apa?

Yes, i have some sort of plans. Plan A, Plan B, Plan C.
Dan kalau semua plan tak jadi, i'm gonna withdraw all my savings and travel the world,
malas nak fikir lah.

I was having a conversation with mak the other day,

Me : Do u plan ur future waktu kecik dulu, ma?
Ma : Yes, dari kecil mama memang nak jadi cikgu, nak masuk maktab was my aim at that time.
Me : And everything turned out to be the way you want it?
Ma : yes, minus the divorce.
Me : what if i dont have any plans? What if apa ika rancang tak jadi mcm mana ika nak? What if ika tak boleh bangga kan mama, tak jadi macam apa yang mama dengan ayah nak? What if ika tak boleh jadi a good example untuk adik adik? Ika grad umur ika almost 27, siapa je nak hire ika kerja? i dont have any experience in working industry, i dont have anything to offer, graduating from ipts with average cgpa je, macam mana ika nak hidup?
Ma : You think too much sometimes. Semua orang ada rezeki masing-masing, bezanya macam mana kita usaha. Mama dah happy tengok ika berubah banyak, even ika takut everything tak turn out to be the way you want it to be, just terus plan juga. By doing that, you will know what to do sooner or later. Jangan risau, ika kan suka figure out stuff, you'll figure out your life just like you always do. Worry less, do more. Doa banyak banyak moga Tuhan mudahkan.


Maybe i'm scared sebab dah nak 26 tahun but my life doesnt seems to fall to its places just yet. But yeah, life goes on. The clock is ticking. I just need to figure how to manage my mind and my life.

Messy world ahead.


Seorang syafika yang emosi,
Syafika L.