31/31

Bismillah.

First there was texting.
And then seeing each other once or twice per week,
And then texting, and random calls.
And then seeing each other once or twice per week, still.
And then minimum texting but phone calls.
And then minimum texing, less calls but once in a bluemoon video calls.
And then seeing each other more then three times per week.
And then texting, and no more calls.
And then less and less texting and bla bla bla.

Sustain,
I know it's hard keep the sparks alive
But why don't i feel bored of calling.
or tired of texting
or giving up to drive that far just to see you?

Why do i still feel excited whenever i wanna see u,
even if it's just for a 30 mins lunch time?

But why do i feel like you dont feel that way, anymore?

Yes, sayang, i feel the emotions,
i see the actions,
but it becoming less and less
and i'm scared that those feelings will lost along the way someday.

I see some of my friends who have been together for almost 4years now,
Seeing each other almost everyday,
But everytime he saw her, it's like he's currently seeing her for the first time again and again.
Those eyes, they aren't lying.

Is it that hard to keep the sparks?
Do I have to try harder?

Hello November,
I'm sorry i'm not excited for you
I'm sorry i'm a mess
Please hang in there
Promise i'll be better.


I'm just wondering,
Syafika L.