hello world, i am broken, do u hear me?

Bismillah.


we always have that one person
that we go to to find comfort, kan?

well, this blog is my "that-one-person"
where i find my comfort.
where i escape and talk about everything
because at least i know this blog won't judge
this blog won't push me away


but, it seems like it wasn't my escape anymore
not a place where i can find that comfort again


do u know how it feels?
as if someone just took away that one person who actually
can listen to you, and know how you feels, and be there when
you cried yourself to sleep.

i didnt look at this blog
the same as i am this morning
and i dont even feel like writing anymore


u don't understand how writing helps me
to you, i write
because i want the world to know
how broken i am.


well, the world doesn't have to know anymore.
Syafika L.

Baru dua lima

Bismillah. 

A random post sebab rasa nak tulis. 

Aku rasa macam nak buat banyak benda baru. Paling latest aku rasa nak try adalah scuba diving. 

Been googling about the stuff niari, so rasa menarik nyaaaaaaaaaaaa. 

Walaupun aku dua puluh lima,

tapi aku rasa macam banyak benda aku belum cuba. 

Therefore, aku rasa nak pergi ambil lesen scuba. heh! 

Ada sesiapa yang ada pengalaman yang nak share sekali ke, silalah bantu ye. 

Anyhow, i am so excited for my Spain adventure on august. Tapi akhir bulan lah. Tu yang ingat

nak ambil scuba license awal bulan august, lepas habis exam. Release stress orang kata. 

Baru dua lima, stress menggunung. 

Nak jadi apa pun tak tahu. 

Anyhow, kepada semua yang rasa lost,

rasa sedih hiba dan sebagainya,

go do something crazy

Something yang kau sendiri tak expect kau boleh buat

As long as tak melanggar batas agama dah lah. heh! 😅 

Life is so much more rather then being sad about small stuff.

Macam aku, stress semorang nak kahwin, apa semua, aku je forever alone.

TAPI,

it doesnt mean yang i can't be happy

so, go, live life. 

And let go, especially things that makes you sad

Macam ex gf ke ex bf ke,

ada sebab kenapa diorang jadi "ex"

sebab ex tu dah expired dan tak relevant HAHA! 

and learn to forgive, 

you will see things differently when you start to forgive people.

oh ya, forgive yourself, tu yang paling utama. 

Kalau rasa sedih, terkutuk, hiba dan sebagainya,

Amek sejadah, Dia ada. Okay? 

Selamat malam. 

Syafika L. 

a girl and a boy

Assalamualaikum.

How do u know if he/she is the one?

The truth is, you will never know. 

But,

The chances or the steps that you've made that matters. 

If you want to be with someone, you will accept her the way she is, regardless of all the mistakes that she had done. 

This brings me to a story, about a girl and a boy.

They met each other at a very strange time of their life, and in the weirdest way anyone could ever think of (HAHA!) . From then on, they talked to each other almost every night. To her, he's the one that she will ran to , to find comfort. As they grew up, things change and everything just... stop.

But, they found each other again. They talked, shared everything all over again and, the feeling of comfort talking to each other was still there. But somehow, she's with someone else, and he's currently in love with someone else. And again, it stops there. 

After few years, this girl has broken up with his boyfriend. After  she went through some tough phase of her life, she started to live her life again. Even if it's only her against the world, she doesn't mind at all. 

One day, as she  scroll her newsfeed in her social media, she received a personal message from a guy. The same guy that she talked to almost every night 8years ago. She was so suprised.

And that's when, her life started to change. 

She started to laugh again, her eyes sparks, and butterflies flies in her tummy every now and then whenever his name appeared on her phone screen. 

Those comfort feelings that she felt 8 years ago, was still there. And she kept on asking God why she kept on bumping with him ? 

" Is he the one? " , she asked. 

One day, she found the guts to confess to him, but that was one of the biggest mistake she ever did in her life. She doesn't realized that those act will break her into pieces and make her cry herself to sleep all over again. 

and everything's change from then on, she knew everything won't be the same again. 

What happen next? The story is still on going. She leave everything to God, knowing that He knows what best for her. 

Kesimpulannya, 

We will never know if he/she is the one for us. Matter of fact, we will never know that every decision that we've made was the best for us. 

But, if everything makes sense when he/she is around, why don't you give it a try? If it turned out good, alhamdulillah. But if it doesn't, you're going to fall, breaks into pieces etc, but at least, you took your chances. And trust me, you're going to be okay again. 

Things happen for a reason, whether to break you or to make you stronger. Therefore, have faith. 

If u feel like crying now, go. U might think that you have lost your bestfriend, but hey, if you guys are destined to be bestfriend, you will always be regardless what happen before. 

I don't know whether this makes senses or not. Even my grammar doesn't makes sense for now. But i hope you get the idea. 

Keep on dreaming, 

Siapa tahu, it will eventually come true one day, inshaAllah.

Yours truly,

Syafika L. 

Have you ever..

Bismillah.

Have you ever like someone so much, but you can't do anything about it. 

Not because you don't have the guts to do so, but simply because you don't want to lose him. 

Have you ever been so comfortable with someone, when he simply changed, you just keep asking yourself what did you do wrong?

It hurts. I know. 

Hang in there. 

If he's worth the wait, then wait. 

If you think you can't, then move on.

Life is simple. 

You need someone to talk to, He's there. Always. 

Have faith.

Syafika L.

Dream wedding,

Hi,

sebab weekend ni seorang kawan diploma aku nak kahwin, so aku pun macam saja berangan bertanya diri sendiri, " What my wedding would look like? "

Nope. aku belum nak kahwin. Takde sesiapa ajak aku kahwin. Matter of fact, takde siapa nak pun. hahaha 

Back to the topic, if i were to get married, i want it to be as simple as it could be. Kalau zaman sekarang orang kata, but wedding dengan budget RM 10,000 to seems impossible, I wanna make it work! 

Aku nak kahwin kat masjid, pakai baju kurung putih biasa tu je asalkan cantik. Tak payah kasut grand-grand sebab bukan nampak pun nanti, kan?

Aku nak ajak orang datang makan je dekat masjid, bagi makan apa yang aku mampu. Kalau nasi putih, telur goreng dengan sup je aku mampu, tu je lah aku hidang. Asal niat ikhlas nak bagi orang makan, dan nak beritahu orang aku dah kahwin, sudah lah kan?

Kalau tak pun, aku buat doa selamat je dekat masjid malam tu, jemput anak-anak yatim datang, orang kampung, sedara mara, dan sesiapa lah yang sudi nak datang join doakan aku dan suami, dah cukup. 

Tak perlu lah nak grand grand sangat hantaran sebab esok lusa bila dah kahwin, aku boleh pau je suami aku. hahhahaha tak tak, gurau. I mean, you know, ada banyak lagi benda nak fikir. Esok lusa kalau tak de duit nak makan, barang hantaran tu bukan boleh tolong. Telekung, al-Quran tu semua, acceptable sebab aku guna, banyak pahala suami aku dapat, kan?

Paling grand pun aku mintak, nak gambar kahwin, tu pun kalau terpaksa paksa adik aku ambil gambar kitorang guna iphone 6 dia dekat tepi pantai ke dalam hutan ke sebab nak cut budget, aku tak kisah. Asalkan ada sedikit kenangan, kan?

I mean, kalau orang kata aku ni save budget sangat ke miskin ke apa ke, asalkan aku kahwin, halal. Alhamdulillah.

Aku tahu, kenkadang orang kata, kalau kahwin macam ni, apa orang akan kata, tapi esok lusa, kalau kami susah, kami tanggung. Biarlah kalau kahwin biasa je pun, asalkan aku ada suami yang boleh sayang aku ikhlas dengan segala cela yang ada pada aku. 

Kahwin grand, kalau last-last tak happy, tak best juga. I mean, that's what i thought.

Atau mungkin, sebab aku datang dari latar belakang keluarga yang begini, buat aku jadi " yang penting kita cukup untuk kita " .

Betul tak? 

Putus asa

Pernah dengar kan putus asa?

Dan kita ni manusia
lagi mudah putus asa
dari cuba usaha
untuk betulkan semuanya.


Sebab putus asa itu mudah.

Noktah. Itu saja.


Tapi pernah tak kita fikir
Berapa ramai yang sengsara
hanya dengan kita yang putus asa?


Aku pernah putus asa
Pernah
Dan sebab aku putus asa,
aku hilang manusia yang aku sayang

Waktu tu aku rasa penat sangat.
Penat yang teramat.

Dan aku rasa putus asa adalah jalan yang terbaik untuk aku lakukan.
Dan sekarang,
aku sendiri tak tahu apa yang aku mahu
dalam hidup aku


Aku hanya mohon Tuhan bagi apa yang terbaik untuk kita kita ini
Tapi jangan jadikan "redha" sebagai alasan untuk kita putus asa


Kita boleh cuba buka semua pintu, 
Pintu mana yang kita rasa terbaik, 
Mohon Tuhan setuju. 



Mimpi indah,
Syafika L. 

Bismillah. #syafikawrites

A random first post for 2015.


New year resolution, to travel more.

Prepare for random post of awesomeness by me this 2015.
May it be a great year to everyone and me.


Backpackers 101 Tips for Bali, coming soon.

Leaving next week. Teheeeeeeeee :D


Love,
Syafika L.